Queen of My Heart
by Agent N Danvers
Summary: What will happen when Gwen finally admits that she has feelings for Morgana? Will the two of them be able to hide their growing relationship from everyone in the castle? Not to mention all of Camelot. Rated T - just in case. I do not own Merlin or any of the characters. All rights go to their proper owners!
1. Chapter 1

**-X-**

"Just imagine it. One day, we could _both _be queens." Morgana whispered into Gwen's hair. They laid on the forest floor, staring up at the sky, arms wrapped around each other. Gwen sighed softly and nodded, picking up Morgana's hand and interlacing their fingers together. She ran her thumb across the pale skin of Morgana's knuckles, silently admiring the contrast in their skin tones.

Gwen smiled. "One day…" she murmured.

**-X-**

_Three months earlier_

Morgana had always been fond of her maid, to the point where it had gotten her in trouble. She'd always considered Gwen to be her friend, at the very least. They'd been through so much, and they'd been together since they were both young children, it just always seemed like they'd somehow be together, in one way or another. So when Gwen pulled Morgana aside one day, Morgana thought it was just another one of those chats that they were going to have. Talking about silly little trivial things, passing the time. But as soon as Gwen pulled her aside, she could tell that something was different.

Gwen couldn't seem to look up at Morgana, she paced back and forth in front of Morgana, wringing her hands together, starting to speak and then stopping suddenly over and over. Morgana reached out and took the hand of her maid, putting a cease to her pacing. Gwen looked down at their hands and shook her head, pulling away slowly. "Morgana, I can't." She whispered fearfully.

Morgana shook her head. "Can't what?" she asked.

Gwen sighed loudly and pressed her hands to her forehead, pulling them through her hair. She kneeled down in front of Morgana, staring up at her with fear in her eyes. "Morgana, what I'm going to say…it's not – I – I don't know – I don't know how to say it." She murmured.

Morgana smiled softly and sat down next to Gwen, trying to make her feel more at ease. She took Gwen's hands in her own once more and tilted her head slightly, catching Gwen's eye. "Gwen, you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, you know that right?"

Gwen smiled softly and nodded, running her thumb across the back of Morgana's hands. "I know." She whispered. She sighed softly and shook her head. "But what I'm going to say, it's – unheard of. You'll probably ask for a new maid." She murmured.

Morgana laughed slightly. "Come now Guinevere, nothing you can say could drive me away so suddenly." She shook her head. "Now, what is it?" she asked.

Gwen took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Morgana, we've known each other for so many years, since we were children. And we've both been there for each other whenever one needed the other. I just-"

Morgana shook her head. "Gwen, what are you trying to say?" she asked. She had a suspicion of what Gwen might have to say, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions.

Gwen shook her head. "Morgana, I've…grown feelings…for you." She murmured. She pulled her hands into her lap and bit her lip. "I know that nothing is going to happen. I know you don't feel the same, I just thought you should know." She said. The young servant stood suddenly and rushed out of the room, fleeing down the stairs and through the halls.

Morgana called out after her, trying to call her back. "Gwen, Guinevere – wait!" she watched the young servant fled out the door, watching her back disappear around the corner.

**-X-**

Morgana hadn't seen Gwen in two days. She was avoiding the other woman. She had sent a replacement to help Morgana dress in the morning and evening, she wasn't in any of the places that she usually was, and wherever Morgana looked, no one seemed to know where Gwen was. Morgana finally decided to give the young woman her space, give them both time to think.

Morgana found herself thinking back to the battle at Ealdor, how bravely Gwen had fought, how she went to extreme lengths to make sure that they had enough weapons and that all the weapons they had were suitable for the fight. She remembered how brave Gwen was, how well she had fought. In fact, when Morgana thought back to that battle of Ealdor, a lot of what she remembered was watching Gwen, helping her with the weapons, fighting beside her. And the feeling that accompanied those memories was like nothing she had ever felt for anyone. That was when she knew.

**-X-**

Finally, Gwen came back after another two days. She busied herself with cleaning, making sure the flowers in Morgana's room had enough water, putting away the clean dresses she brought with her. She kept her head down and avoided Morgana's gaze as best she could, until Morgana couldn't take it anymore. She stood and closed the door just as Gwen was heading out, yet again. She leaned against it and shook her head. "You're avoiding me." She murmured.

Gwen looked up at the taller woman. "No, my lady, I was just busy with-"

Morgana shook her head. "Don't try to make excuses." She said. "Please." She added softly. "We need to talk." She murmured. She watched as Gwen nodded. Morgana smiled and motioned to her bed. "Please, sit."

Gwen sat on the edge of the bed, wringing her hands together, staring into her lap again. She bit her lip nervously as she felt Morgana sit down next to her. She could feel Morgana's green-blue eyes graze her frame. She kept her head down, blood rushing to her cheeks as she felt Morgana's hands lift her head up, staring into her eyes.

Morgana sighed softly and shook her head, keeping Gwen's gaze. "Gwen, you've been avoiding me." She said. Those weren't the words that she wanted to say, but she couldn't bring herself to say the right words.

Gwen sighed and dropped her head again. "I just, didn't think you would want to see me." She said shrugging.

Morgana sighed. "Gwen, when you pulled me aside, I thought that it was just going to be one of those days when we would just sit and talk about the stupid gossip going around, and laugh at how ridiculous it was. But that look you had on your face – your beautiful face," she whispered, lifting Gwen's face to look at her again. "I knew that things were going to change,"

"I didn't think that you were going to say - what you did say, but when I heard it from you, I couldn't believe it. But then you just rushed out of my room so fast, you wouldn't let me say anything." She whispered.

Gwen shook her head. "My lady, I shouldn't have said anything, but I thought that you should have known – "

Morgana shook her head, cutting her off. "Just listen." She said, grabbing Gwen's hands in her own. "And then you were avoiding me for the past four days, so I couldn't tell you what I thought." She said.

Gwen sighed and shook her head once more. "Morgana, I'm sorry, I just knew you wouldn't have the same feelings, and I just thought you might want some space. I –"

Morgana shook her head and pulled Gwen's face to hers, pressing their lips together. She ran her fingers through Gwen's hair, tilting her head slightly as she got lost in Gwen's lips. She pulled away after a long moment, running her tongue across her bottom lip. "Next time, I'll tell you what feelings I have." She whispered, her fingers still tangled in Gwen's hair.

**-X-**

* * *

**Hey, so this is my first Merlin based fic, and I just loved the idea of Gwen and Morgana together. So I thought I might as well write about it. **

**Anyways, I would love to hear what you guys think of this fic, reviews, suggestions, comments, etc. etc. That would be great! Thanks! – N**

**I do not own Merlin or any of its characters! All rights go to their proper owners!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Whoever is reading this, I'm going to let you know right now, that I am not going to be following the episodes exactly. I may mention one or two of them every so often, but I think I'm just going to be writing whatever comes into my mind and following my own weird way of imagining things. **

* * *

**-X-**

Things between Gwen and Morgana hadn't really changed since they admitted what was going on between them, if anything, the relationship they shared seemed even stronger. They still had their little chats, gossiping about the going-on in the castle, but every so often Morgana would feel Gwen's eyes traveling across her skin, not hiding the glances anymore. Morgana would look up at the young woman, catching her gaze and gently reaching out for her hand.

Gwen would look down at her lap, her face growing a shade darker as she bit her lip. But then she would look back up at Morgana and give her hand a quick squeeze, linking their fingers together, and then Morgana would be the one to look away.

It was a bright morning when Gwen found herself watching the leaves of the trees dance softly in the wind, whispering the words to a quiet song that only other trees and plants would understand. Gwen crossed her arms across her chest and smiled softly. She heard Morgana's approaching footfalls behind her, and she shook her head, still smiling.

Morgana stood beside the young woman, taking joy in the smile on her face. Morgana brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. "What's on your mind?"

Gwen glanced over at Morgana and smiled. "I just had a stupid idea." She murmured.

Morgana sat on the windowsill that Gwen stood in front of. She smiled up at the other woman and tilted her head slightly. "Whatever idea you have, I'm sure it isn't stupid." Morgana said. "Tell me, please."

Gwen nodded out the window. "It's just that it's such a beautiful day outside, I could almost imagine the two of us, out there, alone, having a picnic." She murmured.

Morgana grinned and took Gwen's hands in her own. "If that is what you wish, then that is what we'll do."

**-X-**

Within a matter of two hours, the two women had gathered the supplies they needed and had picked a spot far in the forest where they would not be disturbed. They rode off for the desired spot, arriving there just before the sun hit its highest peak. Gwen jumped off her horse and began setting up the blankets. Morgana dismounted her horse just as quickly, stopping Gwen. "Let me." She said softly. She laid the blankets across the ground and grabbed the basket full of food, laying it on the blankets. She motioned for Gwen to sit, only sitting after the other woman had made herself comfortable.

Gwen smiled at Morgana and pulled the food out of the basket, laying it between the two of them. Morgana laid on her back, staring up at the sky and nibbling at the food they had brought with them. Gwen's fingers ran through the long hair that laid around Morgana's head, and laid back on the blankets as well. Morgana bit her lip and shifted, moving so her head rested on Gwen's stomach.

Morgana sighed softly before she finally spoke. "Do you think that there's ever been anyone like us before?" she asked.

Gwen still played gently with Morgana's hair, thinking before she answered. "To be honest, I don't know." She murmured. "I –" Gwen sighed softly. "All I know, is that, this – whatever it is – it feels – right, but yet – it doesn't." she mumbled, slightly ashamed of the words that came out of her mouth.

Morgana sighed and nodded. "I know." She murmured. "I'm so happy when you're around, but if anyone found out – if Uther ever found out – " Morgana broke off, frightened to think of the consequences.

Gwen sighed. "I know." She mumbled. She sat up slowly, letting Morgana's head fall in her lap. "We'll just have to be careful." She whispered, watching Morgana nod. Morgana rested her hand against Gwen's neck, pulling her down gently to press their lips together.

Gwen sighed softly with happiness and gently pulled Morgana up, tilting her head and wrapping her arms around Morgana's neck. Morgana's hands found their way to Gwen's sides, eventually resting on her waist as they kissed. Morgana leaned back, pulling Gwen with her to the ground as their kisses grew deeper.

Suddenly Morgana stopped, looking over towards the line of trees to the east. She swore under her breath and sat up, brushing stray hair out of Gwen's face before looking back over to the trees.

A Camelot patrol came into sight, led by the prince himself. The two women watched as the prince drew closer.

"Morgana, Gwen, what are you two doing so far out here?" He asked them.

Gwen's face had turned red, she busied herself with cleaning the food and putting it back in the basket as Morgana answered him. "It was such a nice day out that I decided I wanted to spend a bit of time out in the sunshine. Gwen offered to prepare some food for me." She said, thinking quickly.

Arthur nodded. "It is a beautiful day." He said. "But you shouldn't be out here alone. There were reports of a band of smugglers not too far from here. You best ride back to Camelot with us." He said.

Morgana let out a dramatic sigh and nodded. "Alright, alright." She stood and watched as Gwen finished gathering the things they had brought with them, making her painfully aware of how different the two of them were in their standings in the kingdom. And how if Morgana hadn't become aware of the approaching patrol, the trouble that would have rained down on them.

Morgana bit the inside of her cheek and brought their horses over towards Gwen. She quickly mounted her own, waiting for Gwen, and followed the patrol back to Camelot. Every so often, Morgana would glance back and Guinevere, but her face was kept down, only glancing up every so often to make sure she was staying with the patrol.

**-X-**

That day Gwen had made sure to be busy with chores and tasks that needed to be done, avoiding Morgana yet again. She had tried to delay her final visit to Morgana's chambers as much as she possibly could, but eventually she had to go and see the young woman. She managed to silently enter Morgana's room, half-hoping to find her already asleep, only to find her sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

"So whenever something happens, are you always going to try to avoid me?" Morgana whispered. Her voice sounded hurt, and she was staring down at her hands.

Gwen opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. The sound of pain in Morgana's voice cause her heart to ache. She wished she knew what to do, but ever since she admitted what they had between them, she always seemed to be at a loss.

Morgana finally looked up at the young servant. "Is there nothing you wish to say to me?"

Gwen took a deep breath. "We were nearly caught." She whispered.

"Nearly." Morgana reiterated. "We will just have to be more careful next time." She said. She stood and moved towards Gwen, resting her hands on Gwen's arms.

Gwen shook her head, looking down at the floor. "There can't be a _next time_." She mumbled.

"What?"

Gwen sighed and looked up at Morgana. "Today, it was close." She said. "It was _too _close." She breathed. "If we were ever caught, if something were to ever happen, I would never be able to forgive myself."

Morgana shook her head, smiling briefly before her face fell again. "But nothing will happen. We'll just be more careful next time. We'll find somewhere out of the way." She insisted.

Gwen shook her head. She felt tears fall down her cheeks. "Morgana, I can't." she whispered.

Morgana let her hands drop. She shook her head, looking down at the floor. "Fine." She whispered, sounding defeated. "If all you want is to be my maid, then so be it." She turned and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can get myself ready for bed. Go." She commanded.

Gwen shook her head and took a step forwards. "Morgana –"

"I said go!" Morgana said, almost yelling. She looked over her shoulder as Gwen shrank back, curtsied and left her chambers, closing the door swiftly behind her. As soon as Gwen had left, Morgana found herself crumpled on the floor, sobbing silently into her hands. Little did she know that Gwen was on the other side of the door, fallen to the floor and weeping silently, just as hurt and afraid as Morgana was.

**-X-**

* * *

**I own nothing. All rights go to their proper owners. **


	3. Chapter 3

**-X-**

Gwen made her way to Morgana's room, carrying new sheets to make the bed. She opened the door quietly, watching the floor as she walked into the room. "Good morning my lady." She murmured. She laid the sheets on the chest that rested at the foot of Morgana's bed, looking up to see Morgana gazing out the window.

The sky had changed drastically from the day before. It had been such a beautiful day previously, but the sky had turned as dark as the midnight skies, in the early morning that usually brought with it great light. The wind blew with such force to almost knock a building down.

"See how the weather changes?" Morgana murmured. "It mirrors my own feelings." She whispered.

Gwen sighed softly and made the bed, ignoring the ache in her heart. She finished and looked back at Morgana, holding her hands in front of her. "Will there be anything else?" she asked quietly.

Morgana sighed softly as she looked over her shoulder at Gwen, the sadness very apparent on her face. "No, that will be all." She murmured.

Gwen dropped her head and opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't utter a sound. Once again, she looked down, picking at her fingernails, curtsied quickly and left, the things she wanted to say still hanging on the tip of her tongue. She closed the door softly, leaning against it and shaking her head.

Gwen thought back to the night before, how she had stared up at the sky as she walked her way home, pleading silently for things to be different, somehow. She hadn't slept much that night, the memory of Morgana's words rattled through her mind all night, and whatever sleep she had gotten had been filled with night terrors – images of Morgana in a cell, Uther yelling at her, screaming about how unnatural her behaviour was. But the image that stuck in her head - the one that caused her the most pain – was the sight of Morgana's pained face, commanding Gwen to leave.

Finally Gwen brought herself back from her own mind. She slipped down the stairs and into one of the adjoining halls, nearly knocking into Arthur. Gwen jumped back, curtsying and apologizing profusely. She glanced up at him, smiling softly and shaking her head. "I'm sorry your highness." She said, dropping her head again. "I wasn't watching where I was going." She murmured.

Arthur smiled down at the young woman and shook his head. "It is I who should apologize Guinevere. I should be more careful. We wouldn't want anyone getting hurt." He said, grinning with one of his signature smiles.

Gwen smiled softly and nodded. She glanced back down at the floor, watching Arthur's feet turn and disappear behind her. She sighed softly, letting out the breath she hadn't realized that she had been holding. She continued on her way, not realizing that Arthur had looked back, watching her leave. And also not noticing that Morgana had finally come out from her room, watching the encounter between the young prince and servant. Morgana had glared as Arthur left, not being noticed by either of the two parties.

**-X-**

_A week later_

Whenever Gwen went to Morgana's room, she was either out in the castle, or if she was there, she would hardly speak a word. Just to tell Gwen to leave once she was done. Gwen would curtsy, do her duties as she was expected, then leave. Things had never been so tense between the two of them, and it was beginning to make Gwen very uneasy.

Morgana would barely leave her room, and when she did, she would head off on her own – take her horse and ride off to who knew where. She hardly spoke, ate very little, and she didn't smile at all. Gwen tried to make conversation, commenting on the weather, telling Morgana about the usual gossip she had heard about the castle. Morgana wouldn't respond, she barely acknowledged that Gwen was speaking. Finally Gwen couldn't take it anymore.

"Morgana, please," Gwen pleaded. "I can't take this anymore. Your silence is deafening. Say something, yell, scream, anything!" she said. "You can't just shut everyone out. You can't shut me out. Please." She whispered, pleading with her. "Say something."

Morgana looked up at Gwen with sadness in her eyes. "There isn't anything to say." She murmured. She smiled a sad smile and dropped her head once again.

Gwen kneeled in front of Morgana, looking up into her face, which was shadowed under her hair. Gwen instinctively pushed Morgana's hair behind her ear, causing Morgana to pull away quickly from Gwen's warm fingers. Gwen sighed and drew her hand back. "You know why we can't." she whispered.

Morgana raised her eyebrows, her hands in her lap, still staring down at her hands. She nodded gently, "I know. But I can't hide what I feel. No matter how hard I try."

Gwen sighed and shook her head. "Morgana, I can't do this. I've seen how this ends. If we were to be caught, Uther would have the both of us executed. I couldn't watch you die." Gwen cried, tears falling once again.

Morgana gazed into Gwen's face, then looked back down at her lap again. "So you'd rather live a lie…"

Gwen shook her head. She sighed and stood, taking her leave and heading home to once again have a sleepless night filled with night terrors.

**-X-**

Arthur knocked on Morgana's door softly, listening as Morgana's footsteps drew closer, opening the door. "Yes?" Morgana murmured.

Arthur smiled, pushing past Morgana into her room. "I need to ask you something." He said, looking around her room.

Morgana rolled her eyes and shut the door behind them. "Please, come in." she said sarcastically. She sighed and sat down on her bed, looking up at Arthur. "So, what is it?" she asked sharply.

Arthur stood in front of Morgana, holding his hands behind him. "I need your help to impress a girl." He shuffled his feet nervously.

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she scoffed. "The great Arthur Pendragon needs help with women?" she laughed softly. "Wow, well alright then." She said. She stood and walked around Arthur, eyeing him up and down with a smirk on her face. "What do you need to know?" she asked.

Arthur rolled his eyes and turned to face Morgana. "What to do to show a woman that I am interested in her?" He asked nervously.

Morgana smiled softly and sat down on her bed again, motioning for Arthur to sit next to her. She watched him as he sat and smiled softly. "Well, you could do the usual things – flowers and things. Riding through the fields, possibly. Picnics are always favourable." She murmured. The mention of picnics brought back the memory of her morning with Gwen, and how it was Arthur who had interrupted them. Morgana smiled weakly and nodded. "You'll think of something." She whispered.

Arthur smiled widely, missing Morgana's obvious pain. He was oblivious to everything but his own feelings. He stood, thrusting out his chest and grinning. "Thank you Morgana. I know what I am going to do." He exclaimed. He burst out the door, slamming it shut behind him and leaving Morgana to her own thoughts.

**-X-**

Gwen was sitting on her bed, head in her hands when she heard the knock on the door. She opened the door a crack, peering through the opening to see a tall figure in a cloak. "Can I help you?" Gwen asked quietly, wary of the hooded figure.

Arthur raised his head, smiling softly. "Guinevere," he murmured. He withdrew his hand from beneath his cloak, holding a large bunch of wildflowers. "I was out walking and I saw these, and thought of you." He said sheepishly.

Gwen smiled politely and opened her door a bit more. "Please, your highness, come in." she said, curtsying.

Arthur shook his head. "I should actually get back, but I thought you might join me for a picnic tomorrow morning." He said. "Somewhere private."

Gwen took the flowers and shook her head. "I'm not sure." She murmured. She thought for a while, then nodded. "Alright," she responded. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Arthur grinned widely and nodded. "Tomorrow." He said.

Gwen closed the door, sighing and dropped the flowers onto the table carelessly. She didn't know why she had agreed to the picnic with Arthur. Spur of the moment she assumed. She knew for sure though, that she had no feelings at all for the prince. She would be sure he knew that the next day.

**-X-**

* * *

**I personally am not really sure how I feel about the Gwen/Arthur pairing. I personally much prefer the Gwen/Morgana pairing, but I thought that I might throw in a few bumps for this story. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing. **


	4. Chapter 4

**-X-**

Gwen woke with start, cold beads of sweat running down her face and neck. She rubbed her face in her hands, shaking her head at the same time. Her nightmares were getting worse, and nothing helped. Finally after a long time of sitting on her bed she stood and got dressed. Then she headed to help Morgana get ready.

When she walked into Morgana's room, she found Morgana up and already dressed. She smiled softly, holding her hands behind her back and looking down at the floor slightly. She shook her head, looking up after a while. "Is this to be a regular occurrence?" she asked softly.

Morgana looked at Gwen in the mirror which she sat in front of. She smiled softly and shrugged. "Perhaps this is a good thing – me being able to get myself ready." She said. She turned and took in Gwen's appearance. "You look tired." She said, standing and making her way over to her friend. She took her shoulders and sat her on the bed. "Did you not sleep well?" she asked. Gwen shrugged and yawned softly. Morgana smiled softly and shook her head. "You're so pale." She murmured.

Gwen sighed. "Nightmares." She murmured. "They keep me up." She whispered.

Morgana nodded softly. "I know how that feels."

Gwen nodded. She knew the Morgana had nightmares from when she was a young child. She could remember hearing Morgana wake up screaming sometimes, crying out. Gwen would rush in, hold her whenever she was there and try to calm her down. Sometimes it worked and Morgana would be alright and fall asleep soon after, but other times she would ask Gwen to stay with her, lay next to her and be there to help her fall back asleep. She sighed and shook her head. "I'm alright." She said. She stood quickly, nearly losing her balance.

Morgana stood, quickly grabbing Gwen's elbow to help support her. She gazed softly into her face, a very worried look across her face. "Are you sure? Maybe you should go see Gaius. I can help you." She murmured.

Gwen shook her head, smiling softly. "Thank you my lady, but I'll be fine." She slowly pulled away, heading towards the door. "Um, I was wondering if I might be excused from my duties this morning." She asked quietly, turning back slightly to look at the other woman.

Morgana nodded quickly, assuming that Gwen would take the time to get some rest. "Yes, of course." She murmured.

Gwen curtsied, turning slowly and leaving to go get ready for her picnic with Arthur.

Morgana sighed softly, and sat next to her window. She sat there for hours, only looking up when she spotted Arthur riding away from the castle, with a young woman who looked strangely like Gwen riding behind him.

**-X-**

Arthur stood proudly, staring out at the view at the spot he had chosen for them. Behind him, Gwen set up the blankets and pillows and set out the food that she had packed for the two of them. Arthur clapped his hands together and turned. "Gwen, please sit." He insisted. "I could have done that." He sat down next to her and began to eat the food, staring out at the sky. "Well, this is wonderful." He said.

Gwen nodded, murmuring softly in agreement. She could feel her head swimming slightly, and every sound she heard seemed as though she was hearing it underwater. She could hear Arthur droning on and on, talking about training the knights or some hunt that he had gone on recently. She tried paying attention, even if out of courtesy, but after a while longer, she couldn't hear him anymore. She had assumed that he had stopped talking, that he was waiting for her to say something but as soon as she turned her head, she could feel her head pounding. Something passed over her eyes, and she fell to the ground, passed out.

Arthur had continued to talk, not even glancing over at Gwen for a long while. "-he suffered a grave defeat." He said, finishing one of his stories triumphantly. He grinned and finally glanced over at Gwen, seeing her laying on the ground he shook her shoulder softly. "Gwen?" he asked softly. "Guinevere?" he shook her a bit harder. "Gwen!" He picked her up and laid her on his horse, riding swiftly back to Camelot.

Morgana was in the courtyard as Arthur rode back, his face grave. She rushed over to Arthur, seeing a body laid across the horse – a body that was wearing the same dress that Gwen had been. Morgana's heart began to race. "What happened? What's wrong with Guinevere?" she asked shrilly.

Arthur shook his head, beckoning the guards over. "Take her to Gaius." He said. He watched them carry Gwen away, then turned to take Morgana back, only to find that the king's ward was rushing in after Gwen.

Morgana pushed the door open to Gaius's chambers, leading the guards to lay Gwen on the bed. "GAIUS!" she yelled.

The old physician rushed into the room, "What's happened?" he asked, looking up at Morgana, then glancing back down at Gwen.

Morgana shook her head, trying to hide how frantic the situation was making her.

**-X-**

Gaius examined Gwen thoroughly, checking everything three times over. The only explanation he could find was pure exhaustion. He had tried to get Morgana to leave, telling her that Gwen was well looked after, that he would let her know as soon as Gwen's condition changed. But Morgana refused to leave. She had told Gaius that if the places were reversed, she would be doing the same. Gaius knew better than to argue once the young woman's' mind was made up.

Morgana stayed next to Gwen as Gaius went to do his usual daily runs throughout the lower town and the citadel. She fell asleep for a short while, but her sleep was filled with her own nightmares. Horrible visions of Gwen's burial, how much things would change without Gwen there. Morgana woke with a start, her heart pounding. She gently held Gwen's hand, running her thumb across the back of Gwen's palm, tracing invisible shapes on her skin.

Morgana sighed softly, gazing at Gwen's pale face. "I knew you should have gotten some rest." She whispered softly. "That's what I thought you were going to do. I thought you wanted the morning off so you could take care of yourself!" Her voice was growing more and more angry. "Not so you could go gallivanting off with Arthur." She hissed. She let Gwen's hand go carefully, shaking her head. She sighed loudly and bit her lip. "I thought that there was something between us. You were the one who started this whole thing and as soon as things get too close for comfort, you bail on me." She spat. "But you can't abandon me. You're the only person who listens to me when I need to rant about Uther. And you're the only person who can calm me down after my nightmares, and –" she broke off. "I need you." She whispered.

Morgana felt tears falling down her cheeks. She took Gwen's hand in her own again and gently pressed a soft kiss to Gwen's knuckles, then pressing Gwen's hand to her forehead. She sighed softly, shaking her head, pleading silently for Gwen to be alright, for her to wake soon. Morgana found herself yawning, and laid her head softly on Gwen's arm, softly closing her eyes before falling asleep where she sat.

**-X-**

Gaius returned two hours later, seeing Morgana asleep on Gwen's shoulder. He knew why she was so tired. Gwen had been one of Morgana's best friends for practically their entire lives. He found a spare blanket and covered Morgana with it, blowing out the candles and went to take Merlin's bed.

**-X-**

Morgana's eyes opened slowly, feeling a gentle hand stroking her hair. She turned her head to see Gwen's eyes open. "I need you too." She whispered with a soft smile.

**-X-**

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**Thanks for reading you guys! Please leave me some reviews or comments if you have any! Thanks again! – N**

**I own nothing!**


	5. Chapter 5

**-X-**

Gaius had insisted that Gwen stay in his chambers for the rest of the morning, and he tried once again to get Morgana to go back to her own chambers, get some sleep for herself. Morgana had refused yet again. She sat next to Gwen, holding her hand as she slept, brushing stray strands of hair out of her face as they fell. Gwen had fallen asleep again not long after seeing Morgana. She had tried to stay awake, she had told Morgana that she needed to tell her something, but Morgana had shook her head, reassuring Gwen that whatever it was could wait, that she would still be there when Gwen woke once again.

Finally Gwen had nodded and closed her eyes once more, still grasping Morgana's hand in her own. Gwen woke once more as the sun was setting that evening. Gaius checked Gwen over once more, making sure that she was alright.

Gaius handed Gwen a small vial of medicine. "I want you to take this tonight, it will help you sleep." He said, pressing the vial into her hand. He nodded and excused himself to go about on his rounds.

Gwen looked down at the vial in her hand and sighed softly. She watched as Morgana's hand wrapped around her wrist softly. Gwen glanced up at the kings' ward and smiled softly. She stood and took Morgana's hand, pulling her up and leading her back to her own chambers.

Morgana trailed behind Gwen, slightly nervous that someone might see them, but before she could care too much, the two of them had found their way back to Morgana's chambers. Gwen opened the door for Morgana, closing it behind them and gently placed the vial of medicine on the trunk that rested at the foot of the bed. She watched as Morgana sat on her bed, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs, leaving room for Gwen to sit.

Gwen smiled softly and sat on the bed, gazing gently at Morgana. Morgana smiled softly and shook her head. "Before you say anything, I need to tell you something." She said quietly.

Gwen nodded. "Alright." She murmured.

Morgana sighed and moved closer to Gwen, taking her hand once more and stroking the back of Gwen's hand with her thumb. "I saw you leave the city with Arthur." She started. She saw Gwen nod slightly, her head dropping. "I was so angry with you, I made a vow to myself, that I wouldn't let anyone get that close to me ever again." She said, looking into the young maids face.

Gwen looked back up at the other woman. "Morgana, I-"

Morgana stopped her. "But then, when I saw Arthur carrying you back on his horse, I realized that I couldn't keep everyone out. Especially you. You were as pale as death – I thought you were dead. I realized just how much I care about you. But I know that this is not what you want. I know that you just want to be friends. And I realized that if that's what you want, I'm willing to just be your friend." She murmured.

Gwen smiled softly. "When I was asleep, I had a dream." She started. "I dreamt that I had been exiled from Camelot. I was packing my things, and I didn't know where I was going to go. But then you came to see me, just as I was about to leave, and you were crying. You wanted to come with me – and I wanted you to come with me too, I remember you saying that you needed me. That I couldn't abandon you. But I knew that if you left with me, Uther would have hunted us down to the ends of the earth. You knew that too, but you wouldn't let me leave without you. I dreamed that you kissed me." She whispered. "And when you kissed me, I felt all the anger and fear, and all the love that you wanted to say to me – that you wanted to show me - but couldn't find the words. And that was when I knew." Gwen murmured. She shifted so she was facing Morgana, taking both of Morgana's hands into her own. "Morgana, I can't just be your friend. You are right. I was the one who put this into motion, and as soon as it got too hard for me to handle, I dropped it. But that wasn't right of me, I should have been there." She murmured.

Morgana smiled softly. "Are you saying that you want to give it another try? To give _us_ another try?" she whispered.

Gwen smiled. "I am." She bit her lip and leaned in closer, softly pressing her lips to Morgana's.

Morgana slowly released the hold she had on Gwen's hands, closing her eyes and reaching up to tangle her fingers in Gwen's hair. She tilted her head, and pulled herself up, tilting her head down to kiss her. Gwen tilted her head up, wrapping her arms around Morgana's neck, each kiss growing deeper, more passionate, but more frantic at the same time.

Morgana pulled away slowly, brushing away the soft black hair that had fallen into Gwen's face. She bit her lower lip and smiled, shaking her head. "It's late." She murmured.

Gwen smiled and nodded breathlessly. "It is." She whispered. She moved towards the edge of the bed, reaching for the vial. "I'll head home then." She murmured.

Morgana grabbed Gwen's wrist. "You can stay here." She whispered, tilting her head slightly.

Gwen bit her lip, considering her options, before nodding softly. "Thank you."

Morgana pulled her back onto the bed, pushing Gwen's hair behind her ear. Gwen looked down at the vial, slightly fearful. Morgana shook her head, looking into Gwen's face. "What is it?" she asked.

Gwen took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm scared." She whispered. Morgana shook her head. Gwen shrugged slightly and bit her lip. "I'm scared that – if I fall asleep – when I wake up, none of this will be real. That you won't really feel the same things that I do. Or that – somehow, I'll be back in my house, packing up my things – exiled out of Camelot – that I'll never see you again." She whispered, tears in her eyes, her voice choked slightly.

Morgana took Gwen's face in her hands once again. "Guinevere, I promise that when you wake up, you will still be here, and I'll be right there next to you, and I promise, that I will feel the same things that you feel right now." She whispered. She gently took the vial from Gwen, taking the stopper out of the vial and slowly passing it back to the other woman. "I promise." She murmured.

Gwen let out a shaky breath and nodded. She took the vial, tossing the contents back, pulling a face as she swallowed it. "That is revolting." She muttered. She laughed softly and looked up at Morgana. "Promise-?" she whispered.

Morgana pressed a kiss to Gwen's lips again, pulling away and resting her forehead against Gwen's. "Promise." She breathed.

Gwen nodded. She yawned slightly and shook her head. "That works very quickly." She whispered.

Morgana smiled softly. She pulled Gwen to lay back on the bed, watching as Gwen closed her eyes and fell asleep. Morgana gently stroked Gwen's cheek with her thumb, pressing one last kiss to Gwen's forehead before she fell asleep herself.

**-X-**

* * *

**Any thoughts?**

**I own nothing. All rights go to their proper owners.**


	6. Chapter 6

**-X-**

Morgana woke with a small start, sighing slightly and rolling onto her side. She expected to see Gwen, still asleep, but instead, she saw Gwen with her eyes open. Gwen smiled softly and brushed Morgana's long black hair out of her eyes. "You kept your promise." She murmured, resting her hand against Morgana's cheek.

Morgana smiled softly. "Did you doubt I would?"

Gwen sighed and pressed her forehead against Morgana's. "Do you want to tell me about your dream?" she whispered.

Morgana sighed softly and held Gwen's face in her hands, foreheads still pressed together. "Just the usual. Flashing images of fire, cells, magic." She whispered. She shook her head. "I don't know why I keep having these dreams. But they seem to be changing. Sometimes you're in them." She explained. She saw the look of curiosity on Gwen's face. "Sometimes, I dream that I have magic, and that when you find out, you turn me over to Uther." She said fearfully.

Gwen shook her head. "That would never happen." She murmured.

Morgana smiled softly, looking away from the other woman, slightly doubtful. "I'm glad." She whispered.

Gwen tilted her head. "Hey," she said, watching as Morgana's eyes moved back to look at her. "I'm serious. I would never betray you." She whispered. "I wouldn't care if you had magic. Because-" Gwen broke off quickly. She looked down, then back into Morgana's eyes. "Because I love you." She murmured.

Morgana smiled softly. "Really?" she whispered softly. Gwen nodded. "I love you too." She breathed. She pressed a soft kiss to Gwen's lips, pulling away slowly. Gwen smiled, sighing softly and sitting up. Morgana whined softly, pulling at Gwen's wrist gently. "Don't go." She whined.

Gwen looked back at Morgana and grinned softly. "But I have duties to attend to." She murmured.

Morgana shook her head. "But you're my maid. What if I say I need you here with me." She said.

Gwen rolled her eyes slightly and shook her head. She laid back down on her stomach to face Morgana. "I guess then I would have to be here with you." She whispered into Morgana's ear.

Morgana grinned. "Good." She whispered. She took Gwen's hand in her own and linked their fingers together. "So, are you doing anything specific today?" she asked.

Gwen shrugged. "No. What about you?" she asked the young woman.

Morgana shook her head. "Nope. But I have some ideas." She murmured.

Gwen tilted her head. "Such as?"

Morgana shrugged. "Do you want it to be a surprise?" she asked softly.

Gwen smiled softly, sighing dramatically. "I guess." She said.

Morgana nodded. "Good." She replied. "Then I will get everything ready. Can you meet me down in the courtyard in an hour?" she asked.

Gwen nodded. "I'll just go home and change and I'll meet you there." She whispered. She smiled and drew closer to Morgana slowly, pressing one last soft kiss to her lips and pulling away slowly. "I'll see you later." She breathed.

Morgana smiled, watching her leave. "See you later." She whispered.

**-X-**

_An hour later_

Morgana finished saddling the horses as Gwen walked towards her. She had changed into riding boots and trousers instead of her usual dress. She had braided her dark hair up into a bun, suitable for riding. Gwen smiled softly as she saw Morgana was wearing her own riding outfit, with her hair braided down her back. Gwen grinned at the young woman and shook her head. "I had a feeling we might be riding." She whispered. She glanced around quickly before taking a few steps closer to Morgana. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?" she asked quietly, tilting her head to look at the other woman.

Morgana raised her eyebrows and grinned slightly. "That would ruin the surprise." She breathed.

Gwen growled slightly, so only Morgana could hear her. She walked around Morgana and headed to her horse that Morgana had saddled for her. She mounted the horse and watched Morgana mount hers, leading Gwen out of Camelot. As soon as they were clear of the city, Gwen rode beside Morgana, trying to pry any details she could out of her. "How long will it take us to get to wherever it is that we're going?" she asked.

Morgana shrugged. "A while." She responded coolly.

Gwen narrowed her eyes and smiled softly. "How long are we going to be there?"

"A while." Morgana said again.

Gwen sighed. "You won't even give me the smallest hint?" she asked. Morgana shook her head. Gwen grinned slyly, forming a plan in her mind. "Alright then." She said. She coaxed her horse into a canter, then quickly into a gallop, putting a fairly large gap between herself and Morgana. She heard Morgana calling to her, telling her to slow down, but Gwen just laughed to herself and carried on.

Morgana cursed to herself and pushed her own horse to go faster, catching up to Gwen after a short amount of time. "Alright, alright! I'll give you a hint!" she said.

Gwen grinned and slowed down, watching as Morgana slowed to ride next to her. Gwen grinned to herself. "I knew that would work." She said proudly.

Morgana rolled her eyes, smiling. "Cheeky." She whispered. She looked over at Gwen and sighed softly. "One small hint." She said.

"Fine." Gwen said, slightly disappointed, but she knew to take what she could get.

Morgana smiled. "We're going to a place I found as a young girl. As far as I know, no one else knows about it." She said. She looked over at Gwen. "You remember when I ran away three years ago? That time when the Camelot patrol couldn't find me, no matter how hard they tried?" she asked. She watched as Gwen nodded. "Well, that's where I'm taking you." She smiled softly. She had kept that place a secret for years, wanting to keep it for herself for whenever she needed to get away, but she finally felt that she was ready to share that place with someone, and she was so glad that she could share it with Guinevere.

Gwen smiled softly. "Wow." She whispered softly. "That sounds amazing. But that isn't really a 'small' hint." she murmurmed softly to Morgana. "I'm glad that you feel like you can share this with me." Gwen carefully reached over and took Morgana's hand in her own, smiling at the young royal. Morgana looked over at Gwen and smiled. She pulled Gwen's hand up and kissed it softly, squeezing it.

They rode for a few hours, watching the sun as it continued to rise above the horizon, until they reached a large waterfall. Morgana jumped off her horse, encouraging Gwen to do the same. She took Gwen's free hand, both of them leading their own horses calmly through the water, leading them through what looked like a long, natural made tunnel. Gwen squeezed Morgana's hand nervously. The tunnel was wide enough for another horse even, but the darkness made Gwen anxious. Morgana looked back at the anxious woman and smiled softly. "We're almost there." She whispered. Gwen nodded, trailing closely behind the other woman.

Morgana lead Gwen out into a large clearing, surrounded by huge trees, but that still allowed them to see the sun. Morgana secured the horses as Gwen looked around. Morgana walked up behind Gwen after she tied up the horses and wrapped her arms around Gwen. "This entire clearing is surrounded by cliffs. No way to get in but through that cave, hidden by that huge waterfall." She whispered.

Gwen tilted her head back to look at Morgana. "Kind of romantic." Gwen murmured.

Morgana smiled. "That's the point." She whispered. She turned Gwen in her arms and pressed a kiss to the young servant's lips.

Gwen pulled away slowly. "So how long are we going to stay for?" she asked. "Or is that a surprise until it's time to leave?" she asked sarcastically.

Morgana smiled softly and shook her head. "Well, I guess I can tell you." She said. "I packed us a tent, and told Uther that I would be visiting my father's grave, which usually takes at least two days. So we could stay for at least a day, if not more." She explained.

Gwen smiled slightly. "Just the two of us. Alone. For at least a day and a half." She murmured. "That could spell trouble." She whispered, drawing closer to Morgana.

Morgana smiled slightly. "I dunno. Maybe that's what I had planned all along." She whispered.

Gwen smiled. "Well, we might need a tent before it gets dark." She murmured.

Morgana grinned and nodded. "I'll start setting it up then." She whispered. She slowly unwound her arms from around Gwen and headed back to the horse to grab the tent. Gwen followed behind her, helping to set up everything they needed.

Within twenty minutes, the tent was set up and they had everything they needed for an overnight stay. Morgana sighed loudly and dropped onto the ground, arms stretched out above her head. She looked up at Gwen and grinned. Gwen shook her head. "You obviously aren't used to manual labour." She teased.

Morgana rolled her eyes slightly and pulled herself up, only to grab Gwen's hips and pull her down to the ground next to her gently. Morgana laid back down on the ground, staring up at the sky as the sun began to set. Gwen sighed softly and laid down with her head on Morgana's stomach. "How'd you get this together so fast?" Gwen asked quietly.

Morgana smiled softly and found her fingers playing with Gwen's hair yet again. "When I told Uther that I wanted to visit my father's grave, he made sure that I had everything I needed. He sent everyone scrambling to get everything ready." She said. Gwen chuckled softly. "He's busy with some court duties today, and since things have been fairly quiet in the kingdom lately, he assured me that he wouldn't be sending another patrol for a few days. No one is going to miss us." She whispered.

Gwen moved onto her stomach and pressed their foreheads together. "You thought of everything, didn't you?" she whispered. Morgana shrugged, feigning innocence. Gwen shook her head and laughed softly. She pressed one hand against Morgana's cheek. She shook her head and sighed softly. "I don't know why I'm so nervous." She whispered.

Morgana smiled softly at Gwen. "You don't need to be." She said softly. She took Gwen's face in her own hands and shook her head. "But I am too." She whispered. "This is the first time we've had any guaranteed time alone together." She murmured. She sighed softly and gazed softly into Gwen's eyes. "Listen, nothing has to happen. I'm happy if we just lay here and stare at the stars." She said. "I don't expect anything to happen. We can take this as slow as you'd like Guinevere." Morgana murmured.

Gwen smiled softly. "You are absolutely amazing." She whispered. She pressed a kiss to Morgana's lips. She pulled away slowly and shook her head. "But I don't need to take this slow anymore." She whispered. "I love you. Let me show you." She whispered.

Morgana sat up, holding Gwen at arms distance. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Gwen nodded. "Absolutely." She whispered.

Morgana sighed softly and grinned. "Okay." She murmured. She pulled Gwen towards her, pressing their bodies together as closely as they could, softly gazing into Gwen's eyes. "Really sure?" she murmured.

Gwen rolled her eyes and laughed, kissing Morgana. She tilted her head slightly, wrapping her arms around Morgana's neck, deepening their kiss. She pulled away for a second, tilting her head and kissed Morgana once again. Morgana stood, pulling Gwen up with her and into the tent, closing it behind them.

**-X-**

Morgana emerged from the tent, glancing back at Gwen's sleeping figure for a moment, then went about gathering some wood. She arranged it accordingly, and made sure that Gwen was still asleep. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her courage and pushing aside her fears, hand outstretched towards the pile of wood. She opened her eyes, which flashed gold momentarily, and watched as the small fire grew into a comfortable blaze.

**-X-**

* * *

**\- N**

**I own nothing. All rights go to their proper owners. **


	7. Chapter 7

**-X-**

Morgana sat next to the fire, watching the sun as it set, every so often glancing into the tent where Gwen slept soundly. The light of the stars grew brighter as the suns light grew dimmer, letting the soft moonlight and the light of the fire fill the area where she and Gwen were staying. Just as the last sunlight was fading off the horizon, Gwen woke, turning to wrap her arms around Morgana, only to find empty space. She opened her eyes, glancing around and spotted Morgana sitting next to the fire. Gwen wrapped a blanket around herself and went to go sit next to Morgana, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders as well.

Morgana looked over at Gwen, brushing the hair away from her neck and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. Gwen grinned and nuzzled against the top of Morgana's head. Morgana wrapped her arms around Gwen and pulled her down to lay on the ground with her, staring up at the sky. "What do you see?" Morgana asked softly, resting her head against Gwen's, staring at her eyes as she gazed up at the sky.

Gwen looked over at Morgana, smiling softly. "Stars." She murmured.

Morgana nudged her softly. "Obviously." She responded. "What else?" she asked.

Gwen smiled softly. "Like when you look up at the clouds and try and different images?" She felt Morgana's head nod against her neck. Gwen shook her head, giggling gently and looking back up at the sky. "A horse," she said, pointing with one hand. "And a hawk. A dragon." She whispered. She looked over at Morgana, who had closed her eyes. "You." She murmured. She watched Morgana's eyes open and smile softly at her. "Tired?" Gwen asked her softly.

Morgana nodded. "A little." She responded.

Gwen smiled softly. "You can sleep if you want." She whispered.

Morgana shrugged. "I want to listen to you though." She murmured.

Gwen laughed softly. "I don't think I can think keep a full on conversation on my own." She heard Morgana mumble a response and chuckled softly. Gwen sat up, startling Morgana slightly and helped her up. The two of them headed back into the tent, laying down once again. Gwen pulled the blanket over the two of them and wrapped her arms around Morgana, resting their foreheads together. Gwen hummed softly until Morgana's breathing became more even, assuring Gwen that she was asleep. Gwen smiled softly and continued humming until she herself fell back asleep.

**-X-**

_Two days later_

"Shh….they'll wake up. Hurry, please."

"I'm trying."

Gwen slowly opened her eyes and tilted her head to listen to the voices. She shook Morgana's shoulder vigorously, watching as she, too, opened her eyes and tilted her head to look towards the source of the sound. Morgana held her finger to her lips and slowly reached over to grab her sword. She motioned at Gwen to corner them and quickly cornered the two against one side of the tent. Gwen held a dagger in one hand while Morgana carried her sword, pointing it at the two thieves.

Morgana narrowed her eyes at two women, at least three years younger than Morgana and Gwen, who seemed to be raiding the food that the two had brought with them. "What do you think you're doing?"

The two girls jumped in surprise and began to shake with fear as they faced the women that they were stealing from. The taller girl seemed to hide behind her companion, keeping her face hidden behind her hair. The shorter girl seemed to be the one with all the ideas. She stood tall, trying to hide her obvious fear of the sword that was pointed at her chest, and dropped what she was holding. She lifted her chin and began to speak. "Please, we didn't mean any harm. It's just that we've been traveling for so long, and we ran out of food a few days ago – we're starving." She said quietly.

Morgana looked over at Gwen, who seemed to be lowering her weapon. She saw Gwen's face soften, then look over at Morgana. The two women shared a quick glance, then both of them put their blades away. Morgana stepped forwards and began to pick up the items that the two had dropped. She gathered them in her arms and handed them back to the young girls. Morgana smiled softly and nodded. "Here." She said. "Next time, you need just ask us." She looked back over at Gwen who drew closer and whispered into Morgana's ear. Morgana nodded.

Gwen smiled softly and clasped her hands in front of her. "The lady Morgana and I were going to gather our things and head back to Camelot in a little while. You're welcome to join us. We could help you find a place to stay and some work for the two of you."

The shorter of the two girls stood in front of the other, as if she was trying to protect her from something. She shook her head. "We couldn't. We are very grateful for your generosity, but we must be on our way."

Morgana shook her head, standing in front of Gwen slightly. "Don't be silly, where are you two heading anyways?" she asked.

They both looked at each other and shrugged. "Just….away." she said.

Morgana smiled softly. "Well, whatever you two are heading away from, you'll be safe in Camelot. I promise." She said.

The two girls looked at each other once more before slowly nodding. "Thank you." The shorter of the two girls smiled softly and pointed at herself. "I'm Juliana and this is my companion Nell." She said, gently pulling her companion forwards. They both curtsied politely before looking back up at Morgana and Gwen. Juliana was the one to speak first. "Is there anything we can do to thank you for your generosity?" she asked.

Morgana looked back and Gwen, who glanced around quickly and shook her head. "I believe that we just need to gather up the tent and tend to the horses." Gwen said, then quickly re-evaluated her thought. "Perhaps you would both like to tend to the horses." She said.

Juliana glanced back at Nell and nodded. "Of course." She murmured. She reached out – as if to grab her companion's hand and lead her towards the horses, but then quickly dropped her hand to her side again, heading to care for the horses.

Gwen and Morgana quickly looked back at each other. Morgana sighed gently, "I'm sorry Guinevere. I know you would have enjoyed a longer stay." She murmured.

Gwen shrugged and brushed her hair out of her face. "It's alright. We can always come back again." She whispered. She looked back at the other women, who had their back turned towards the young king's ward and her maid. Gwen turned back to her and gently brushed their hands together, smiling softly into her eyes. "But I'm sure that Uther will want you back as soon as possible." She murmured.

Morgana sighed dramatically and shook her head. "Uther." She mumbled. "King of oppression."

Gwen gently took Morgana's face in her hands and shook her head. "He won't take this from us." She said. Morgana looked into Gwen's face and nodded, smiling sweetly at the young maid in front of her and nodding. Gwen smiled and nodded in return. "Come on. Let's get the tent."

**-X-**

_One day later_

Morgana had managed to find Juliana and Nell a place to stay and each of them their own jobs. Juliana was to care for the horses and Nell was to work with the royal seamstress. Gwen had stayed with Morgana again once they had returned to the kingdom, talking until they both fell asleep way too late. The next morning, Gwen woke up and made her way to the kitchen, gathering some food together and making her way down to the place where Juliana and Nell were. The sun was just beginning to rise over the tops of the buildings as Gwen knocked on the door. The house that Morgana had found for the two of them was small, just three rooms, but Nell and Juliana had insisted that it was perfectly suitable for the two of them.

Gwen glanced into the window, trying to see if she could see any movement. When she didn't see anything, she slowly opened the door and snuck in, placing the food she had gathered onto the table and heading back towards the door. As she passed by one of the two bedrooms, she spotted Juliana and Nell. They were laying on the bed, foreheads pressed together and smiling softly at each other. Gwen's mouth fell open slightly, but she quickly gathered herself and rushed back to the castle.

**-X-**

**-N**

**I own nothing. **


	8. Chapter 8

Gwen raced through the courtyard and up the stairs, rushing to Morgana's room. She threw open the door, slamming it behind her and slumping against the wood.

"Guinevere!" Morgana called, hurrying to her maids side. "Guinevere, what's happened? Are you injured? Should I fetch Gaius?" She said frantically.

Gwen shook her head, struggling slightly to catch her breath. She placed a hand on Morgana's arm, squeezing slightly while taking a few deep breaths. "Juliana…Nell…you and me." she said, taking a few more deep breaths.

Morgana shook her head. "I don't understand," she helped Gwen up and helped her to sit on the bed. "What do those two have to do with you and I?"

Gwen took another deep breath, still holding onto Morgana's arm, nodding slightly. "This morning I went to go see if they were settling in and to welcome them to Camelot, bring them some food for them, but I didn't see them so I went to look for them -"

Morgana shook her head, smirking slightly. "Wait, you went into their home?" She asked.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "That's not the point!" She murmured. "I saw them. Both of them. They shared a room last night."

"So, they shared a room," Morgana said. "Maybe they just aren't used to sleeping in their own rooms. Maybe they always shared a room before." She suggested.

Gwen shook her head. "No, they were together. Like, romantically." She murmured, reaching to hold Morgana's hands in her own. "Like, the way you and I are." She whispered.

Morgana's mouth fell open, trying to figure out what she could say. What an appropriate response would be. The proper words eluded her. She just shook her head.

Gwen looked at Morgana and shook her own head. "So?" She said

"So what?"

Gwen shrugged, "So - we have to tell them about us," She insisted. "I mean, we have to let them know that we know, that their secret is safe with us!" She said, smiling wide.

Morgana shook her head. "No, I - I mean, I don't know if it's a good idea." She said.

Gwen scoffed. "What do you mean, of course it is!" She insisted. "You know what this means, right? It means that we aren't alone!" She said, standing and spinning to face Morgana, smiling widely at the Kings ward. "It means that this isn't just us! We aren't crazy for having these feelings!" She insisted, adding under her breath. "It means I'm not crazy." She looked up at Morgana, who looked hurt by Gwen's words.

"Is that what you thought?" Morgana whispered. "You thought you were crazy? You thought I was crazy?" She said.

Gwen caught her breath, kneeling in front of Morgana. "Oh, Morgana, you know that isn't what I meant." She insisted.

Morgana pulled away from Gwen suddenly. "But that's what you said, so there must have been some part of it that was at least slightly genuine!" She said, raising her voice slightly.

Gwen could feel her own emotions rising, anger and fear and desperation. "No, that's not what I meant! Not at all! You know that I didn't mean it like that!" She pleaded.

Morgana shook her head, crossing her arms. "I think I just need some time to process these facts," she murmured. "You can go for the day." She said. She laid back down on her bed, back towards Gwen.

Gwen sighed. "Morgana, I'm sorry." She said, pleading softly. She reached out, her fingers brushing Morgana's back.

Morgana pulled away from the warm, soft touch of Gwen's fingers. "Please," she said softly. "Just go." She breathed.

Gwen sighed and dropped her head. "I'm truly sorry Morgana." She said. She stood and headed towards the door, looking back once. "I love you." She murmured. She opened the door, shaking her head and closing it behind her.

Morgana sniffed softly as she heard the door close, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter, ever since I got my laptop back, I haven't had Word on it, so I can't really do much writing. Anyways, I hope you guys are still reading and still enjoying. I have a few ideas up my sleeves for this story, so keep on reading! Thanks! Love you all! **

**-N**


	9. Chapter 9

Gwen knocked on the door quietly, shivering in the chilly air outside. She hadn't seen Morgana in days, but the days were beginning to feel like an eternity. She needed to see her, she couldn't take it any more. Morgana had replaced her with a new maid, and whenever Gwen tried to stop by and see the young woman, she was never there. She was always out for a ride, or with the King or at some feast that Gwen had not been allowed anywhere near. Gwen needed help, but she only knew two people that she could speak to about such matters.

The door creaked open. "Gwen," Juliana said. She smiled softly and opened the door further to let the young maid in. "Please." She murmured, reaching to hang Gwen's cloak.

Gwen smiled softly. "Thank you." She murmured.

Juliana nodded. "Is there something I can help you with?" She asked curiously.

Gwen smiled softly. "No," she lied through her teeth, sitting at the small table near the window. "How are you and Nell settling in?" She asked.

Juliana shrugged. "I'm finding it very wonderful here, but I worry about Nell. She mostly keeps to herself, as you may have noticed, but she usually talks to me. But ever since we got here, she has become even more quiet." She said.

Gwen nodded, only half paying attention. "Maybe she just needs some more time to settle down." She said.

Juliana shrugged. "Perhaps," she said. She looked back at Gwen and shook her head. "But that isn't why you came, is it?" She said, grinning.

Gwen sighed. "You are very observant," she breathed. She glanced around the small house and laid her hands on the table. "I've lost the love of someone I hold most dear and I need to know how to get it back." She murmured.

Juliana raised an eyebrow. "Well, why did you feel the need to come to me with this issue? I mean, I'm sure there must've been someone else that you could have spoken with about this. We haven't even known each other for that long, and I'm sure someone else would have more expertise in that area."

Gwen shook her head. "I-" she broke off and bit her lip. "I know about you and Nell."

Juliana dropped her head and sighed softly. "How?" She asked.

"I walked in the other day and saw the both of you, together." Gwen mumbled.

Juliana's hand shot across the table and twisted Gwen's wrist. She stood suddenly and stared into Gwen's eyes. "If you tell anyone, about anything, I will make sure you regret it." She hissed. "I won't let anything happen to Nell."

Gwen raised her free hand in surrender. "Relax! I'm not going to tell anyone!" She insisted. She pulled her wrist away and watched as Juliana sat back down. Gwen laid her hands on the table. "I'm actually in the same position." She murmured. "I need to know how to win back her love." She breathed.

Juliana narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, nodding as she listened. Her face softened at the story, and she sighed quietly. "So what did you do to turn her away anyways?"

Gwen sighed. "I may have implied that I thought that I was crazy for loving her," she saw the look on Juliana's face. "And by extension, I may have implied she may not be fully sane either."

Juliana scoffed at the young woman across her table. "Wow, you really messed up." She murmured. Gwen shrugged in response. "Well, you've tried talking to her, right?" Gwen nodded. "Then, you should do a big romantic gesture so show her how much you care. How that, even if you did think that the both of you were crazy, you wouldn't want to be sane if it didn't mean you couldn't love her."

Gwen smiled. "That sounds perfect. Any suggestions for romantic gestures?" She asked.

Juliana sighed and shook her head after thinking for a few moments. "Not yet, but if you'd like to stay, I'm sure we could figure out something together."

Gwen grinned. "I would really like that." She said.

**-X-**

Morgana had reverted back to not leaving her room. When she did, it was only for the occasional meal, and only when Uther absolutely demanded upon it. The meals were always the most extravagant things the king could think of to feed his ward. Her favourite dishes, rich wine, all served to her by the most trusted and loyal of servants. But Morgana had very little interest in anything, let alone some lavish meal. Uther had become quite infuriated with the young woman, working himself into a rage. He insisted that if she wanted to spend all her time in her room, she could do so. "In fact," he had shouted, "I do not wish to see you until you are ready to be a willing participant of the royal court!" And with that, Morgana had been sent back to her room, much to her relief.

She pushed open the heavy wooden door, closing it as quickly as she could behind her. She pulled her hair out of the right braid it had been in for the majority of the day, and sighed loudly, dropping herself onto her bed. Her hands pushed underneath her pillow, but she jumped back as her fingers brushed against a foreign object that lay there. She sat up and pulled the pillow up, revealing a small, sky blue lily, one that only grew in the far corners of the kingdom.

Taking the beautiful flower in between her fingers, she glanced around, wondering where it came from. Then a glimpse of a light purple orchid caught her eye, sitting underneath a scrap of silk on her windowsill. She stepped off her bed towards the flower and glanced out of her window, spotting her horse, saddled and waiting for her outside the gates of the castle. Excitement and curiosity got the better of her, and she slowly made her way down to where her horse waited for her, finding other flowers along the way. A variety of roses, ranging from deep red to light pink, several more blue lilies, and two more orchids.

As she finally reached her horse, she spotted a small scroll tied to the side of the saddle. She uncurled the paper and read: 'Our spot.' Morgana had known who had left the flowers, it wasn't much of a surprise, but she still was wary of going to meet Gwen. She looked down at the bundle of flowers she held, and finally secured them to the saddle, mounting her horse and setting off to find the other woman.

She rode at a leisurely pace, mulling over all that had happened between herself and her young maid. She weighed the pros and cons, considered some of the outcomes, trying not to think of the less pleasant ones. If things were to continue, she would have to make certain things clear. She would have to make sure that when they had misunderstandings, that they could clear them up as quickly and as quietly as possible. But most importantly, she would have to share her most terrifying secret with the love of her life. As she finally found herself approaching the same spot she had shown Gwen, she finally made up her mind. Dismounting her horse, she lead the mare through the tunnel and out into the clearing, spotting Gwen's own horse and the same tent they had used the last time they were there. The difference was that this time, lining the outside of the tent were the different kinds of flowers that had been hidden throughout the castle for Morgana to find.

She approached slowly, lifting the tent's curtain, and found Guinevere half-sitting, half-laying on the bed. Morgana smiled softly, moving to sit next to the beautiful woman, and brushed the stray strands of hair that had fallen into her face.

Gwen stirred slightly, eyes opening ever so slightly, and then shot up with a start. "Damn!" she murmured. She slid off the bed and fell to her knees in front of Morgana. "I wanted to be awake when you got here. I had everything planned out perfectly. I had a whole speech ready and I don't even remember most of it now!" she said, hating herself.

Morgana smirked slightly. "Just like you to put your whole self into something, so much so that you become exhausted." She murmured. She laid her hands in her lap and bit her lip. "But before you say anything more, there is a matter we must discuss."

Gwen shook her head. "No, I'm sure that whatever it is, it can wait. Please, I need to-"

Morgana's hand reached out and held Gwen's face, gently stroking her cheek. "No," she breathed. "It really can't," She watched as Gwen's face grew from confused to fearful to concerned all within a split second. She drew her hand back from the other woman's face and dropped her hand in her lap again. "I have been hiding something from everyone – from you especially. I thought that the moment you found out, you would run for the hills. I still think that." She saw Gwen's mouth open, and started speaking again before Gwen could say anything. "I have magic." She said fearfully.

Gwen stared at the taller woman, mouth opening and closing a few times before she stood and exited the tent. Morgana fought back tears and dropped her head. "I was right." She breathed. She listened, straining her ears for the sound of Gwen's horse galloping away, running in fear of the monster that hid in the tent. Instead, she heard footsteps marching briskly back towards her.

Gwen marched back into the tent, and fell to her knees in front of the other woman, holding something out to her. Her hands were shaking slightly, not from fear, but from worry of what she had to say. "You are still the woman that I love. It doesn't matter to me if you have magic, because I don't care. I fell in love with you. With all your faults, and all your errors. None of that matters." She took Morgana's hand and laid a small object on her palm.

Morgana looked down at the simple silver ring that lay in her hand. It was her turn to stare at Gwen in awe. "Is- is this-?"

Gwen nodded. "This is my promise to you. That I will love you no matter what. Even if we have to leave and find a place where no one knows us, if we have to sail to the end of the earth. I will always love you," She took the ring and slowly slid it onto Morgana's finger. "If you'll have me, I ask you to be my wife. Even if we don't tell anyone, I want you to be mine forever. Will you?" she asked.

Morgana nodded. "Yes. Of course!" she launched herself off the edge of bed and into Gwen's arms, nearly knocking the both of them over in the process. Laughing, she pulled away and pressed a kiss to Gwen's lips. "I love you Guinevere." She murmured, her arms wrapped around the woman's neck.

"And I love you too Morgana." The other woman said in reply.

**-X-**

* * *

**Another chapter? Yes? No? Maybe so?**

**-N**


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